Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Foreign.
[00:00:08] This is the Laurie Toft Tarski morning show, the day after the festive, beautiful Easter for those that celebrate. So rise and shine to the iconic light. Make it bright. Coffee in one hand, confidence in the other.
[00:00:27] And my coffee mug today says, choose to shine. And we all have that free will. We all have the ability to choose to shine. Regardless of what you do. Present the best you you can present. And then ask the universe or God or whoever you may believe in to have you shine even brighter.
[00:00:48] So in retrospect, yesterday was a very beautiful day for me. That's probably why I'm wearing my. Can you zoom in on these? The Lilo and Stitch sneakers, which to me look like little bunnies, which is always very exemplify, very for Easter. I actually bought these about a year ago, and I didn't even know, if you can believe it, who these adorable characters were. And then whenever I started wearing them, little kids would, like, be an amazement and be like, oh, my God, oh, my God, I love your sneakers. And even adults would, like, stop taught me, you know, those that have their are blessed to have their inner child still within them. I started to explore the characters and it was a very good. It was almost like an intuitive buy for me because I'm very enamored with the characters.
[00:01:39] So yesterday I did go to church and it was a beautiful service.
[00:01:45] And afterwards I volunteered at the kids ministry and I had the time of my life.
[00:01:53] The little kids were so adorable, dressed in beauty, their beautiful Easter outfits, and some of the little girls I was playing with and we were laughing and coloring and playing games, and I was so joyful. I was so joyful, and they were joyful and it was just such an encapsulating moment.
[00:02:15] And they're like, could you come over for dinner?
[00:02:17] And it just felt so good. I know.
[00:02:21] You know, I don't. I've never been blessed to biologically have my own children, but I've always been drawn to children. I have many people in my life that are like daughters to me, and it's been very special.
[00:02:33] So that on that note, it was just a beautiful day of sharing time with family and friends and giving service and taking in some beautiful words.
[00:02:47] And I was telling my producer, Mr. Connor Walsh, that it's. I'm in such a grateful place. I just feel so lucky to be able to have this opportunity to do this podcast and meet such interesting people and to be able to help and hopefully heal others through the different stories that we'll be engaging in today.
[00:03:14] I'm going to Be touching upon.
[00:03:16] It's just going to be good old me, you know, I don't have any guests per se today, but I am going to be touching upon something very. What I find very fascinating, the power of not only love, but the power of laughter. I've always been into laughter ever since I'm little. I always enjoyed making others laugh and chuckling and to the point where, you know, I couldn't even stop laughing. I remember growing up and we used to go to the library and I would have these giggling attacks. And one day it was almost traumatizing. But I look back and I still kind of chuckle. But I got sent to the quiet room at the library and that was just merely for laughing uncontrollably. But here nor there, it's still a fond memory. As far as the laughter, let me tell you a little bit more about where I'm going with this.
[00:04:07] This is my book.
[00:04:09] It's presently out and it's called I dare you to walk in my shoes. The premise behind it is, until you've walked in my shoes, do not judge me, do not think you know my story, do not give opinions, so on and so forth. It's my belief that everybody has a voice to be heard. Everybody has a story to be told, and everybody has the right to tell that story.
[00:04:36] So as you can see, the COVID I made, very whimsical, almost like Walt Disney. And this is me, the fairy princess, sprinkling my fairy dust and making dreams come true.
[00:04:49] And poignantly, I'm coming out of a cage, almost like being imprisoned. And that's many times how I felt during my journey of dealing with trauma and mental health challenges such as bipolar and food addiction since the age of 10 years old.
[00:05:09] And I'm not going to reveal my age, but it's many years. Not many, many years, but many years. The COVID also reveals the clouds, but the sun peeking through. Because my very dear friend, that unfortunately is no longer on this realm, used to say, on a cloudy rainy day, be the sun that shines from within. And I think that's a beautiful way of looking at life.
[00:05:34] You know, always try to be the sunshine that shines from within. That comes from a deep place. And it's also going back towards the castle.
[00:05:42] That feeling of parliament, that feeling of safety, that's very much how I felt in my younger years.
[00:05:49] And of course, I said this.
[00:05:52] Magnificently spreading history by truthfully telling my story. Because we all kind of create a history when we authentically and truthfully find the courage and the Resilience to tell our own story. And I also put this once upon a crime, barely existing in Never Never Land, at long last miraculously returning and thriving in Forever Everland. And basically what I'm surmising is when you deal with life's challenges, they can be very painful and confusing and you almost feel like you're in this Never Never Land you want out of it so bad. And finally, through faith, sometimes for those and love, and sometimes for belief and hope, even if it's just a little mustard seed, miraculously you return and not only exist, but thrive in Forever Everland. And I look at Forever Everland as something that is ongoing, almost like eternity for those that may not be at that point. It's just being in something that's ongoing that doesn't necessarily give.
[00:07:03] Sorry about that. I got so enamored and animated, but that necessarily gives that screeching halt.
[00:07:13] The book is a memoir and it's certainly a memory, so to speak. And there's an aspect of it I want to focus on today, which is even though it was extremely painful moments in the book where I talk about suicidal ideation and even my own self injury, injurious behavior, and I talk about just being in the throes and depths of depression and loss and things like that, there still was a comedic way of looking at things.
[00:07:46] And I'm going to tell you, no pun intended, a funny story.
[00:07:52] Five years ago, roughly, I was in which I pray will be my last hospitalization.
[00:07:59] And I was in a very precarious, difficult position.
[00:08:06] I was at one of the lowest points of my life.
[00:08:10] Prior to being in the hospital, I had had a near fatal car wreck where I was in an episode. I was off my medication and I hit into what some people know as a major bridge in the local area called the Tappan Zee Bridge or the Governor Mario Cuomo Bridge. I lost control of my vehicle. I smashed into the guardrail, I did a spin around, I hid into a parked cop car.
[00:08:39] It was a true wreck, true wreck.
[00:08:42] And I'm here to talk about it. And that's the part of grace that I've been given.
[00:08:48] And with everything I've been through, I know I have a incredible purpose. And part of it is to heal those that are suffering and to point people back towards the incredible light choose to shine once again. Let me get some coffee. I need some caffeine.
[00:09:07] And basically. So let me finish with this story.
[00:09:11] I was in the hospital.
[00:09:13] It was a very bleak time. I don't know if any of you have been in a mental health facility. Most of them are very bleak places. There's not much color. You know, they have tried to make them a little bit better, but they've left me actually with some post traumatic stress that I've been dealing with over the years.
[00:09:33] But I was in which I pray is my last one.
[00:09:38] And I went through a whole transformation. I went from the depths of despair back to a baseline, they call it. And I could start to feel freedom and liberated and that I was getting back to myself. And a big part of who I am is humor and comedy and looking at things with a bright perspective.
[00:10:03] And the blessing of this book, I dare you to walk in my shoes, is 10 years ago I wrote the first volume called redeem the dream 33.
[00:10:13] And it was all about redeeming the dream of happiness and childhood dreams and different things like that in a peaceful earth and things of that nature.
[00:10:23] A utopia, so to speak.
[00:10:26] With that being said, I published the first volume, but that was probably the toughest years of my life. And I was in and out of depressions and I couldn't be available to promote or be present to live in the moment of actually publishing a book.
[00:10:44] So not much happened with the first volume initially. And then throughout the rest of the years leading up to today, I've had some very compelling moments and I was able to complete two more volumes. So basically, it's Heaven, Hell and Eternity. Those are the three volumes. And that's nothing light to speak about, but certainly fascinating and interesting and mesmerizing. The last couple of pages of the book kind of correlate with the last couple of days of my time in the hospital.
[00:11:20] And I was starting to feel much better. And when you're in that type of setting, they do an exit interview. The doctors and the nurses, they. They have. You go for an exit interview where they kind of get a sense if you're back at your baseline, if you're okay to be discharged. I was feeling so good that I came up with a segment in the book called Sit Down Comedian. Not stand up, but sit down. Because I was sitting down and I was coming up with all these jokes. And from my mouth to God's ears, they were laughing hysterical, to the point where I was like, why are they giving me medication? Maybe they should need some medication. And it was just, it was a. It was a funny moment. And I wrote some of these jokes down. And my whole, my whole theory behind this is like, laughter brings healing, it brings conversation, it brings new focus, new perspective.
[00:12:22] It could be so wonderful. It takes sad moments. It almost. It makes them bearable.
[00:12:28] And I'm blessed enough to be able to share some of these jokes with you. And the best part is, if you don't like them, I don't have to hear you not laughing right now because I'm in the studio.
[00:12:40] But hopefully you'll get some good stuff out of some of these jokes.
[00:12:44] So I'm going to proceed. Let me get to the part in the book and this will even entice you more to go through the whole book. Because the way I look at my book is it's a reflection of who I am. And I'm like everybody else. We have so many different emotions and feelings and thoughts, and why not display all of them?
[00:13:05] So my book is very much like an eating buffet. Smorgasbord has a little bit of everything, and you can continually get nourishment out of it, but you can also get sick, so be careful.
[00:13:20] Now, I think they get progressively better as I go on.
[00:13:25] And some of them are just kind of slapstick humor, as my mom puts it. And some of them are silly and some of them are really adorable. So whatever you can get from them, hopefully it'll put a smile on your face.
[00:13:38] Sit down, comedian.
[00:13:40] And this is a little intro I had made up.
[00:13:43] My inner child is provoked and evoked, going wild.
[00:13:49] My mood and actions are a hypomanic, more or less mild. A surge in creativity, A splurge in comedy for all the world to chuckle and see. Hopefully this will reach all the world one day.
[00:14:07] To laugh in the belly until it hurts.
[00:14:11] Do I require a spiritual and mental alert?
[00:14:16] Am I getting, God forbid, dangerously manic again?
[00:14:21] When, oh, when will this end? And just a side note before I continue, this was five years ago that I wrote most of these. Some of the jokes I'll read are present, but, you know, I've come a long way, baby, as they say, and I am more balanced to the point where I could be on a balance being beam.
[00:14:43] So this was five years ago, and it's. It's hard to reflect, but it's also. It's very rewarding.
[00:14:50] So getting back to that, am I getting, God forbid, dangerously manic again?
[00:14:55] When or when will this end?
[00:14:58] Will anyone tell me the truth? Am I being promiscuous, flirting with everyone and fantasizing about sleeping around town? Am I extremely hyper and happy with no sight of a frown?
[00:15:12] Am I spending money aimlessly? Do I still comprehend that some things are free?
[00:15:20] Am I talking rapidly and quickly? Please, God, in Heaven and keep me from getting sick again. I'll tell you a joke if you pour me a Diet Coke. Connor, you going to pour me a Diet Coke? I could go to the vending machine if you want one. Okay, we'll let it slide.
[00:15:38] Share a smoke. I gave that up five years ago. But back then. Share a smoke. I may even to now that pot is legal. May even be regal. If you don't care for the jokes, tell me. I need new material and say it out loud in front of the crowd. Don't disregard my tip jar.
[00:16:02] After all, I am a czar that will conquer evil and go far.
[00:16:11] That may or may not sound bizarre yet. Let's get on with the show before it gets too late and you'll have to go one.
[00:16:24] How do you know the man liked fruit?
[00:16:28] He had an apple computer.
[00:16:31] Thank you. She liked to dabble in playing Scrabble so her life didn't become a boring game.
[00:16:42] A board game, I should say. If I was a polar bear. How would I say by.
[00:16:49] By polar.
[00:16:52] Can a maintenance man maintain his relationship if he screws?
[00:16:58] Does a bear need oxygen if he is barely breathing?
[00:17:04] I have my menstrual cycle. Does that mean I will have PMS permissible manslaughter.
[00:17:12] What did the 7 foot man do when the waitress took his order?
[00:17:18] He put in a tall order.
[00:17:22] The math teacher was horny and had four play.
[00:17:26] She added one partner and had five play.
[00:17:30] What temperature do you put your stove on when you are cooking a pot pie?
[00:17:37] Hi.
[00:17:38] What did the woman do when she needed a new tire for her car? She went clothes shopping and got a new attire.
[00:17:47] What did the dog tell the tree? I mean the tree. He likes to do bark.
[00:17:54] The psychiatrist asked me if if I heard voices. I said I heard my mom constantly screaming at me.
[00:18:03] What is a messianic j?
[00:18:06] A mess of a Jew.
[00:18:08] How did she know she was nuts? She kept eating cashews, almonds and pecans.
[00:18:14] How was the priest when he played golf?
[00:18:17] He got a holy in one.
[00:18:20] What did the blind man do? He went to swim in the sea.
[00:18:25] How do you know Godiva chocolate is the best. It comes from God and it's part of being a diva.
[00:18:33] How did the female cop keep her boobs from sagging? She was in a hold up.
[00:18:41] What happened when the man fell?
[00:18:44] He said he was falling for me.
[00:18:47] What happened to the happy jeweler? He shined like a diamond.
[00:18:52] Was the strawberry tasty? It was very good.
[00:18:56] How did she know? She liked to sleep with artists. She had drawers.
[00:19:01] I took My mom out to lunch. I used my corporate credit card to pay.
[00:19:07] Now I could finally write her off.
[00:19:10] I went to see the chiropractor. He told me he was all skin and bones.
[00:19:16] My brother was an accountant. He told me our relationship was getting taxing.
[00:19:22] I went to the see my dentist. He had more plaques on the wall than I had in my mouth.
[00:19:29] I met a guy who does construction. He asked me what type of work I wanted done. I said I would start with the boobs and the face.
[00:19:41] What size Yeshua does Jesus wear?
[00:19:44] And for those of you that don't get that, another name for Jesus is Yeshua, like shoe.
[00:19:50] Jesus was having vision problems so he went to an optometrist. The optometrist said, jesus, we're going to have to do a full examination.
[00:20:00] The doctor examined Jesus and said, jesus, I think I know what the problem is. I believe you are cross eyed.
[00:20:09] I was given a SAG award. I unfortunately realized it wasn't because I was talented in my acting abilities. It was because I was over 50 and and gravity had taken hold of parts of my body.
[00:20:23] I was admitted to a psychiatric unit. In the hospital they told me I was at risk of elopement. I blatantly answered, you must be kidding me. Look around. There are certainly no eligible bachelors here.
[00:20:38] As for those Jewish people and equestrians, I accompanied my mother to the horse stable. I I suggested she cantor with the rabbi.
[00:20:49] And just to clarify that cantering is a form of riding horses like but rabbis also have accompanied cantors. I was worried that if I quoted the Bible I would get sued for copyright infringement. But what could possibly happen?
[00:21:07] A prophet suing me for profit.
[00:21:10] Either way, I win.
[00:21:12] If I am called back to heaven, I have many people waiting for me. If I am destined to stay on earth, I have many people waiting on me.
[00:21:21] Hope you enjoyed the show. Blessings to you and your loved ones. I pray you had fun. Spread the word. Soon enough I am taking my act on the road. Warm regards, Ms. Lori E. Tatarsky. That was the last couple of pages of the book. The book really is a good read and it's available through Mental Health of America Dutchess county website. You just put in MHA duchess.orgtatarski or it's available on Amazon.
[00:21:51] And we're going to have many, many more podcasts. Just be open. Open to new words, new ideas, new jokes and above all else, relish in the enjoyable moments of life.
[00:22:05] Because they can be taken away and we have to take them while they're here.
[00:22:09] So once again, coffee in one hand, choose to shine bright, confidence in the other.
